I was having a conversation the other day when my friend mentioned how shocking it was to see me in real life compared to who I am in my blog. She explained that she was reading my blog and wanting to know the real person but was taken aback when she met me in real life.
That story struck a chord in my heart.
I always wanted to be myself and I know I wrote it many times here in my blog as well. So why am I still a different person out there? Am I so afraid of revealing myself truthfully or I have long conformed to the society that I no longer have 'myself'?
I know that I can be myself but why am I failing at every attempt?
Such confusion with my personality is slowly devouring me. Sometimes I pause when I wake up in the morning as I do not want to rush to start my day in the way that I do not desire it to be. This is the sad truth that I have to live with every single day.
Having bad results for my AS crushed me thoroughly. I felt as if I am a plate that shattered into pieces on the floor. The was a sharp pain of disappointment along with waves of self reflection with it. The thing about such experience is that it creates a precedent in your life that you could look back to. I used to have everything to Lose, but now I have nothing to lose.
When you have nothing to lose,it actually makes you more focused on the things you really want in life.
I thank God that He crushed me to pieces so that I could build myself again on rock bottom.
For Rock Bottom became my foundation in life now,I could take it to the direction that I want it to be without having all these ropes holding me back anymore. I promise to be the same person that I am in my blog as well in real life. I am gonna build my life back up with reliance to God.
Its time for a change and I must move forward now. I can't be a coward wanting to run away from this country and the people around me.
After Afterall,I am gonna be Myself.
1 Whispers:
imo, just because you're a little wacky and a little crazy in real life doesn't mean you can't be more pensive in your writing/reflections. that's what blogs are for. :)
Post a Comment