That was my principle of life.
Undoubtedly,this is one principle that I struggle with the most. Being a strong Choleric,I have always had the world revolve around me. Everything must be about 'Me' and 'How I want it to be'. I could accept criticism and comment from others but I have never failed to persuade people to my side. I have always thought of it as a strength rather than a weakness . I was arrogant and self-concious all the time. I always thought that given the chance to go back in time,I would have succeeded as one of the pioneers of our world today.
That was how high I regarded myself to be.
Technically,there is nothing wrong with such a personality. Many great dictators and leaders hold on to such a principle. People like that could go really far in life because they are emotionally detached and goal driven at all times.
The only sad fact is that Strong Choleric people are not the type that people would generally favour. In simple fact,it would mean that you are on your own most of the time. I think deep inside it kills all the great dictators and leaders to know that people hate them. Afterall,they are only human with flesh and emotions.
So am I.
I have always like the personality of Dr. House in the show "House M.D"as I could relate to most of his peculiar acts. It has always been an admiration from my inner self towards him.
I start to realise how this personality of mine is slowly forming my path in life. I start to question the reasons behind most of my actions. Unfortunately, Pride and Ego seems to be the main reason in many of my actions.
I could not live in a life like that when I want to give all grace to God.
They say that every trip teaches us something new. Being in Chiang Mai for 8 days has made me clearly see myself and prompted me to seek for help from someone. Humans run when they are attacked,swim when they are drowning, and live stronger when they are dying.
It is all in our nature that we would go against the odds in our life. I am going against the prideful self of mine that has been destroying my friendship with others. I might say that its not worth my effort for certain people but I am looking at the bigger picture now. I am gonna bring my enemies to know God.
It is definitely gonna be a hard process trying to remove this rotten part of myself but I am more than ready to do it with God's strength and grace.
From the bottom of my heart where the Spirit dwells,It is calling for a change.
p.s Sorry for the two month Hiatus. :)
