Secondary School Life is Over

I guess I will make an exception this time for the title as I am writing about the last day of my secondary school life.

Tomorrow is supposed to be our last day in school. Yes,I am in my last year in Penang Free School and I am not planning to go back for Form 6 so it is really the last day for me. I can't help to feel nostalgic when my friends mention about it for this is the school that I have yearned to enter so badly and to come out of it as another person was really a long journey.

I can't say the same for others but Free School was the school that I would look at and dream to enter when I was small. You can say that the standard has took a plunge and it is no longer as good as before but a true Frees would not agree with you.We are still proud of ourselves being the Free School boys and we still hold on to our three principle 'School for Scholars,Sportsmen and Gentlemen'.

The 5 years in the school has transformed me from a young boy with no thoughts about the future to a young man with dreams for his future. The journey was certainly a patient and stern 'teacher'. Many things have happened to me in this school. Scouts took up part of my life and taught me many new things,Prefects taught me about politics,Schoolmates taught me about friendship and teachers taught me about Dedication (This goes to only those who teach with their heart).

I counted the number of t-shirts that I got from school organisations. I actually have 21 shirts from various clubs,board and mostly from my experience as a scout. I have 6 PJ t-shirt and 4 PJ pants. I am sure most of us have that many PJ attire too. We all love wearing them.

Throughout my 5 years in school,I have met so many people and made friends with so many of them. I found my best friends,close friends and a bunch of friends who will be there for me. I also have my juniors in scouts who had somehow became my younger brothers. I also have my classmates in all the years that I am in Free School enriching my life in school everyday.

5 years just passed like that and I still remember vividly everything that happened from the first day I was in school. I was actually sick of the first day of school and almost fainted in the assembly. Since then,so many things have changed.

As I end this post,I can't help but to feel nostalgic for leaving the school.

Thank you for the great 5 years in my life,Penang Free School.




(My days at the school)

9 Crimes

Somehow at this moment I feel exhausted from my current lifestyle. I feel like its hard to start running again. 5 years of secondary school education comes down to this 2 weeks,I can really feel the stress building up on me. I want to stop running in this race if I could but this is just too hard for me.

This routine has sucked out all the fun part in my life. I feel guilty whenever I don't finish studying at least 2 chapters a day. I live in such routine and continue to struggle in it.

I must not complain because this is my future that we are talking about. I seen people posting up that they gonna disappear from everything until SPM comes. I think I should do the same for this two weeks too. Its just not wise to be wasting my time anymore and feel guilty about at the end of the day.

My laptop will be locked away and songs will only come from my mobile phone. It doesn't matter if i fall down tonight,because I know I will get back up again stronger than before. Tomorrow is a new day and it will be a better day.

Quoted from Nick Vujicic "Are you gonna finish strong?"

Yes,I will finish strong this time.

I am not gonna say its impossible to get 11 A1. I will live up to my own expectation of taking a law degree in the most famous law school in the world.

Tears in Heaven

I feel really relieved today. Its like I offloaded something heavy that I have been dragging for months already. No doubt that my stubbornness got the best of me again and made me keep on dragging it although its already over long time ago. I can finally feel my long breath again without images flashing through.

I can't say that i regretted from this experience but I have certainly learn something once again. I have learn to appreciate people in my life more. Sometimes we just tend to forget how lucky we are just to have friends around us. We take for granted and ask so much from them until one point where we lose them and we realize how valuable they were.

I have always needed the right time to let go and I just can't find any better time than now. I did enough and more than what i should have so its time to stop.

I wont take this sinking boat and point it home anymore. I am letting it sink to the bottom and be forgotten. It will go down with all the memories with it and everything that happened. I shall be rowing on my new boat looking for a new adventure again.

Who Says

Maybe its time I tell you all a little bit about my life.

Since I was small,I was not better than others. I never consider myself to be special or outstanding compared to other kids. I have always knew that I am just that typical person in this big world. I don't dream about great ambition nor great toys if that is what kids want the most.

I am not a good boy since I was small. I am rebellious and always have all the crazy ideas in my head that makes my mum explode with anger at the end of the day. Miraculously, I am still this stubborn after all the beating and scolding that I got because of that.

Being in primary school,I am not the brightest student unless u consider being one the naughtiest as a merit. My results never make my parents want to buy anything for me. Playstation Generation one was only bought for me after 5 years its out. Apparently I tried to get top 3 in my class for 5 years but to no avail at all. I only got it after my mum is so fed up of me asking.

It was a suprise that I could actually get 5As for UPSR. Don't ask me how i did it but it just happened. Even until now my mum said it was impossible that i could actually do it.Nevertheless,I got the chance to go PFS. It is special for me because my Grandfather used to study there and FYI* I never got to see my grandfather,so following his footsteps is a great honour for me.

I was terrible at school. Mixing with the wrong people and wasting my time away with playing truant. I was not good for my studies and i got 90 something in the form. Now,that result is just like saying that I am an idiot. Yeah,no difference from rubbish in the school.

I must be really lucky because usually rubbish don't find their way back after being dumped. Its was one of those turning point in your life when you ask yourself,"What the hell did I achieve after being on the earth for more than one decade?" That question made me think and start to look for a new beginning in life.

I start to take up books to read and with every book that I read,I become a better person. Those books are those self help books that you often see at bookstores. I wonder why some people don't even dare to walk near them when they are such great books.

Those books were the tools I use to crawl back to the top of my life again. Life improved after that and I am not saying that I only had good times.It was not easy to get back on the right path again. There are setbacks that make you regret so much and make you feel like giving up.I guess determination was the only thing who kept me going.

Now,I no longer need to hide my report card nor get scolding because of my results. I changed to a new person. People often ask me how I improved so much compared to last time and I would answer "You just have to look for that turning point". I am glad to be who I am right now and the achievement that I had so far.

I know that you all must be asking why i am writing all these things about my life. The reason is I want to remind myself about that time when I got a second chance to change and I will never go back there again.I want to keep going forward and be who I want myself to be.

If you don't know what ambition i have now,It's Lawyer. It may seem like nothing compared to most of the professional jobs that we have now but Law is the basic of everything in life. Think about it.

With that,I would like to go back to my books for one month and do well in the stepping stone of my life. I remember my dad telling me that SPM is one of the smallest and the most slippery stepping stone in your life. I remember telling myself how true was that sentence.

To those of you who are taking SPM this year,I hope you share the same belief as I do and continue to work hard for it.

Whiskey Lullaby

The hardest part in life is letting go of something you want so badly.

I think its finally time to let go of everything. I have done what I could to make sure she does not look back anymore. All the arguments and insults I have started had finally pushed her far far away from me. I was not meant to be a burden and I will not be one in the end of the day. I used to see some people trying to live in denial and refusing to let go of someone they love.They just simply don't understand that many have better life ahead of them and when its time to let go,you have to do it no matter what. I guess I have chosen the hard way but I am glad I did it sooner before everything got complicated.As I said my last goodbye,I wish you all the best and may you be like the others in the family. Getting in Ivy League and being a successful person.

I guess its time to get worked up about SPM since its only one month away now. The thing about me is that I hate to talk about studies here as there is a lot of hypocrites around judging others progress. Get over it and grow up as I am not interested in comparing myself to you.I just want to chase my dream which have nothing to do with yours. Don't get me wrong,I like to be competitive but I don't like to be competing with a bunch of paranoid people.

I guess its time to get back to books and all.

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said I'll love her 'til I die
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby.

This song is certainly one of the best country songs and its such a waste Stephen Gately passed away so early.

I Never Told You

Actually I wanted to pour out what I am thinking right now but after reading the lyrics of the new song by Colbie Caillat,I think it already perfectly match what I was thinking.

I miss those blue eyes
How you kiss me at night
I miss the way we sleep

Like there's no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
and after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

Maybe I shouldn't have been so impulsive after all and I should have talked to you without any barrier all the while. Every conversation turns into argument and We find ourselves drifting further from each other.I can only stay far away from you now and still love you as much as I do last time.

For those of you who still have not realize it,all my post title are actually song title just to make things special here and to show my appreciation to these nice songs.Enjoy it and Cheers!

P.S. The song was found in Miss Sher Lyn's playlist,so i gotta give credit to her for having such good taste.

Beautiful Mess

I guess I lived up to my own expectation of this holiday. I had the whole week out with friends and ate countless food. All the late night supper and Nasi Kandar,I gonna stop eating Nasi Kandar for one week.Of course there are a lot more than that and I thank those people who fetch me out this whole week. They lessen the lameness of my holiday life and I see some of my friends living it like a heaven too.I guess everyone got a fair share of what they expected of the holiday.

I can't say that I don't look forward to school as I am gonna live my last 2 month of it before leaving it forever but somehow i think I gonna be home frequently to home study as well.

Its been a long week and I can finally say that "I Had Enough" and put myself on track again studying for the most important stepping stone in my life.